March 16, 1999 15 Pages

Well, hello again. Sorry about the delay on this edition of The Paper. I really don’t have much to say in this section of The Paper, which is actually a little unusual. Just read my announcement below. -AY

Andrew Yaksic

As June 11, 1999 gets closer, I have been forced to wonder about what will happen next year. I’ve heard talk that the newspaper will be turned into a class with a faculty advisor. Even if that happens, I want there to be the same kinds of posts as there are now. I will be accepting applications for all major posts excepting Editor-in-Chief, and his two assistant Editors, as those posts have already been chosen by me. I will be accepting applications for the following posts:

Sports Department Editor (1), Sports Writer (indefinite), Entertainment Editor (1), Movies Writer (1), Entertainment Writer (indefinite), Video Games Writer (1), School News Editor (1), General Writer (indefinite), Production Manager (1), Distribution Manager (1).

If there are any questions about what these people do, or who holds these spots now, then ask me, Andrew Yaksic. I will promptly answer your question.

Marco Sanseverino

The latest news in the paper airplane, origami, etc. business is that paper balls are banned. This paper ball stuff started when the 8^th graders crumpled planes and threw them on the ground. Then some 6^th grader came along and threw them. Soon everyone was doing this. Mr. Dunn saw these paper balls and wasn’t very entertained. These paper balls were leaving more of a mess, and all of the 8^th grade could do to stop them is throw them away, because they were already ripped and crumpled up. But the 8^th graders are too lazy to get up and throw them away, so there was virtually no 8^th grade massacre.

Other news – paper airplanes seemed to die down a little I haven’t seemed to figure out exactly why but my assumption is that because paper planes aren’t being tolerated as much as before. Kids have stopped throwing planes because more kids have been getting into trouble. Sooner or later, students will be so cautious of throwing planes that half of the student body will give it up. This will cause a major loss to the paper airplane world… but if planes are not going to be made, what will? If kids stop throwing planes, the future Sunday programs will have to be turned into some kind of origami. Students will find something else to occupy them if planes get them in trouble. If this happens, paper football may make a comeback. This would mean more paper football games. Personally, I think paper football is not very exciting. I do hope that paper planes live on…

We can’t have paper football take over paper planes. So if there is going to be something done to make sure kids don’t get in trouble for throwing planes, it has to be done now. I suggest that when we’re told to stop, stop! If this is done we can be sure that planes won’t be banned.

Andrew Yaksic

I can feel it - one of these days, we're going to lose. Sure, we've gone on an incredible streak, 140-0, but really. The way we've been playing and the way the 7th grade have been playing - you just put them together and you get 150-1. We're going to lose for three reasons. #1 - Ian Johnson. He's the dominating force on the 7th grade team, providing them with the defense that keeps every game close. #2 - the serving core of their team. They have one good server after another, while our 8th grade offense is full of holes. #3 - we're just not playing the way we used to. We almost let two games away from us - the first one was that 21-19 victory in the beginning of March. The other was the 23-21 thriller on Monday, March 8th. Both teams came together to provide the most exciting, nail-biting thriller DiGiovanni has ever seen. The 8th grade MVP for the February/March 1999 is Ryan Tobin. His solid offense and great defense made him the prime contender for this award. The 7th grade MVP is Ian Johnson. If he served more often, his team would score more often. However, if he were to move from the front-and-center position on that squad, there would be a giant hole. Best offense for this month goes to Ryan Tobin. Best defense goes hands-down to Paul Riley, who kept us in both of those thrilling games with his monster spikes, and some great offense too. The only way we could possibly stay undefeated is if we can get key 8th grade players to stop playing basketball and start taking some 8th grade pride - we really need people like Reese Williams and Richie Moran to start helping us out. And having the calls go in our favor instead of the 7th grade once in a while would be great too.

Robert Hayes

Visualize this: The clock strikes 2:00 p.m. on an ordinary Friday afternoon here at BACS. As the 6^th grade departs from Ms. Yeoman’s room, they show no hurry whatsoever in getting up to the rehearsal room. In fact, many stop at the water fountain not only to take a sip of some refreshing water, but also to stall in getting to the dreaded hour-long rehearsal. As the 7^th grade slowly leaves homeroom to go to that very same rehearsal, Ms. Miller tries to straighten out the desks and put up any remaining chairs. As Ms. Miller puts the last one up, she notices the changed voices entering the lunchroom, most of the preparing for an independent. The remaining 8^th grade departs from homeroom usually talking about their plans for the weekend or something funny that happened during the school day. 1 hour later, every student rushes down the stairs, none stopping for water, as the weekend officially begins, but what about the teachers? I have attempted to enter the "unknown side" of teachers here at BACS. Via interviews, I have found several interesting thing that most students don’t know about their teachers, so without any further ado, here they are!

Ms. Fitzpatrick – Fitz was born in Tampa, Florida on February 25^th. She has lived in several different places including Virginia, New York, Rhode Island, Tennessee, Florida, Panama, and France! She enjoys watching her favorite television show "Due South" and listening to her favorite type of music, folk rock. Her favorite drink is a raspberry ginger brew and her favorite candy is coconut britle. She went to college at Vanderbilt, which is in Tennessee. She loves to knit and I bet she uses a lot of purple yarn, since it is her favorite color. Her favorite part of teaching is being able to interact with students outside the normal student-teacher relationship and watching them grow and develop through the years. This will be Fitz’s last year at the choir school; she plans to relax and work on "becoming a grandmother."

Ms. Yeoman – Ms. Yeoman was born in Cambridge and has lived here for a long time. She has several interesting collections, the most interesting being of all her rare books and expensive antiques. When not watching her favorite TV show "Guiding Light" or movie "Life is Beautiful," you might find her reading her favorite book "White Smoke" or listening to classical music. Her favorite foods are stuffing and cranberry sauce; thus her favorite holiday is Thanksgiving. After Thanksgiving dinner, you might catch her eating her favorite candy bar, Hershey’s with Almonds. Her favorite color is, well… that’s obvious. Her favorite number is 8. Her favorite sport to play is tennis, and she is somewhat of a Boston Red Sox fan. She attended Boston University, Regis College, and Emmanuel College. She is also a full-fledged Democrat. Ms. Yeoman was also a student at the choir school before it became an all-male school. She was also a choir director at one time.

Mrs. Christina – Mrs. Christina was born on June 30^th in New Haven, Connecticut. Her favorite color is red and her favorite number is 13. Her favorite holiday is Christmas, and I bet she likes receiving Clint Eastwood movies, since he is her favorite actor. Her favorite sport to watch and play is basketball, She, like myself, enjoys the NBA! Her favorite candy bar is "Payday," but her favorite candy is "M&Ms." Her favorite type of food is Italian and her favorite drink is Pepsi. Her favorite cartoon characters are Snoopy and Winnie the Pooh. Her favorite place on earth is Sedona, Arizona. She has several hobbies: playing the piano, drawing, and painting. She is also teaching herself how to play the guitar, although her favorite instrument is the piano. She enjoys her job because it is exciting and always changing – never boring.

Ms. Miller – Ms. Miller came to BACS 12 years ago in 1987. She went to Hood College and Middlebury College. She formerly taught French at high schools in Walpole, MA; Watertown, CT; and Walkerville, MD. In other words, she has taught French in Massachusetts, Connecticut, and Maryland! She actually wrote a French textbook, Connaissances et Reactions, in 1994. She likes teaching French more than she does Language Arts. The only reason Ms. Miller watches television is for the news. She claims she has no hobbies, but I feel she enjoys writing. She enjoys the 7^th and 8^th grade volleyball games at recess, but when I asked her to give one adjective to describe the 8^th grade team, she said it wouldn’t be appropriate for The Paper! Here favorite French dessert is crème broulaire. If she won a million dollars, she says she would retire. She doesn’t have favorites when it comes to graduating classes, although her favorite cartoon is the 8^th grade. A few assumptions of mine are that she is a Democrat (since she favored Scott Harshbarger) and that she likes to root for the underdogs (since she wanted the Falcons to win the Super Bowl). The underdog theory can also apply to the 7^th grade volleyball team! And finally, she claims there is no fat in the yogurt she eats for lunch, she dyed her hair her original color, and she wouldn’t comment on any relationship with Mr. Policelli!

Andrew Yaksic

I have an announcement about an upcoming article that I'm doing jointly with Robert Hayes - I'm doing a giant survey. I hope to have at least 50 questions that I can ask all 62 members of the Boston Archdiocesan Choir School. If you have suggestions for questions, I'd really, really appreciate your input, because I want to ask about what you want to know!

Andrew Yaksic

Well, I had a little free time on my hands, with nothing to do and a computer in front of me. I decided I'd write an article on the quirks of the grading systems of each teacher, and which ones I like best. I'll go in order by classroom number.

Sister Kathy has a straightforward grading system for a straightforward class - there's not really any other way to grade math papers except with numbers. Her system is pretty much based on how well you perform (as I think it should be!).

Mr. Cristofani has a little bit of a different grading system. He gives each paper that we do a specific maximum point value, and then grades our paper out of maximum points possible. He adds up total points earned, puts that number over maximum possible points, and gives you a grade based on that number. I think it's a reasonable grading system.

Ms. Yeoman's grading system is pretty good - she judges your grade on the quality of the work, and the amount of class participation. It's a great grading system.

Fitz's grading system is one of the best - your work is either a check, check-plus, or check-minus. The homework isn't really the deciding part of your grade (although it's still important to do it!), it's the tests that really count.

Miller's grading system is unique - she gives us the chance to correct most of our work in class. We hand that in, and get a letter grade for it. Tests account for 1/3 of the grade, and those are important towards your final grade, so studying is essential for her classes.

Mr. Schmidt's grading system is based on how well you cover the material that you have covered in class in explaining why something happened or did not happen in your Bodacious Analysis of the Consequences of Science. It's pretty straightforward.

Well, those are all of the major classes that we get graded in regularly. I hope that if you were confused, this clarified something. If you still have questions, talk to me, or talk to the teacher.

Paul Riley

This article starts the series of WWF articles that we will be having in every issue from now to the end of the year. There is a ton of things going on in the WWF so let's get started.

About a month ago, the 1999 Royal Rumble took place. Stone Cold Steve Austin was first entering the 30 man tournament. Second entering was the owner of the World Wrestling Federation. Stone Cold couldn't wait to get his hands on the boss. They have been enemies for the longest time. Austin pounded away on the boss for a minute, then Vince McMahon (the boss) escaped the ring and fled to the ladies room through the stands. He led Stone Cold to a trap! Inside the room was the rest of the corporation. They attacked Austin and sent him to the hospital. The Royal Rumble continued as usual, with wrestlers getting thrown over the top ropes and getting eliminated. At about the half-way point, Vince came back and sat in the commentators booth. He talked for a while, and then heard the sirens. It was Stone Cold Steve Austin returning from the hospital driving the ambulance car. He came back in the ring and started throwing everyone out of the ring. Vince just sat there stunned. At the end Stone Cold and Vince were the only ones left. Stone Cold was beating on him, when the champion The Rock came out and distracted Stone Cold. While he was doing that Vince knocked him out of the ring and won the Royal Rumble, and he was going to Wrestlemania. At least that's what we thought. The next night on Raw, Vince came out with the whole corporation accompanying him and said that he was going to pick someone to go to Wrestlemania to face The Rock, since he and The Rock are both in the corporation. At that moment on the big screen, Stone Cold appeared along with commissioner Shawn Michaels. Stone Cold told Vince that if in anyway the winner of the Royal Rumble can not compete against the champion then the runner up gets to go, and that's Austin. Austin said that if Vince would face him in a cage match at Saint Valentines Day Massacre, and if Vince won, then he would give up his right to face the champion. Vince said okay, and the match was scheduled.

At Saint Valentines Day Massacre, Stone Cold was beating Vince all around the ring, and controlling the match. After delivering his move, the Stone Cold Stunner, the Giant, (Paul Wight), punched through the mat, and tried to hurt Austin. He ended up throwing Austin through the cage, and Stone Cold won the match, so he's going to Wrestlemania. The following night on Raw, Vince scheduled a match between the Rock, and Mankind for the World Wrestling Federation championship. It was a ladder match. Stone Cold joined the King Jerry Lawler for commentary on the match, because he would be facing the winner at Wrestlemania. After a tough match, the Rock and Mankind were both climbing the ladder at the same time to grab the belt. That's when the Giant appeared again, and choke-slammed Mankind off the ladder, so the Rock won! He will be facing Austin at Wrestlemania. The following week, Vince formally introduced Paul Wight into the corporation. He also told the world that Paul Wight will be the guest ref at Wrestlemania for the championship match.

That just about covers what is going on with most of the WWF. But something else has happened as of late. The Undertaker has claimed that he will take over the WWF, and ticked Vince McMahon off. We'll have to wait and see what happens with that.

So its all set, Wrestlemania 15= Stone Cold Steve Austin vs. The Rock for the WWF championship.

Next issue I will tell you more about what has happened and give a preview of Wrestlemania.

I Liked Mike

Robert Hayes

MJ, Air Jordan, Your Airness, call him what you want, but Michael Jordan has proven himself to be the best player in NBA history. (You know the guy is good when he has his own line of clothing and cologne!) Some might remember him as the guy who kept challenging Larry Bird to a game of horse for a "Big Mac" or the guy that sweated Gatorade and enjoyed eating "BallPark" hot dogs and always called his Space Jam buddies using MCI 5¢ Sundays. I remember him as the best. Here is a quick history lesson on the career of Michael Jordan.

In 1984, the Chicago Bulls drafted a rookie out of the University of North Carolina. This rookie would go on to be the best basketball player that ever played the game, Michael Jordan. In his first NBA season, he finished among the top scorers in the league, was named Rookie of the Year, and made the first of his 10 All-Star game appearances. From 1987-1993, Michael Jordan led the NBA in scoring, averaging more than 30 points per game. He eventually became the Bulls all-time leading scorer and set numerous scoring records, including most points in a playoff game (63 points against the Celtics) and highest scoring average for an NBA championship series (41 ppg in the 1993 finals). He also was one of the only men in NBA history to have scored 3,000 points in one season. In 1991, he led the Bulls to their first NBA championship. Michael Jordan was also named the league MVP 4 times, the All-Star MVP twice, and the MVP in every finals he played in. He was also a member of both Dream Teams, which brought home the gold on both occasions. After that infamous baseball stunt, he returned and led the Bulls to become the first team in NBA history to win more than 70 games in a season, going 72-10. Thanks to Jordan, the Bulls won the NBA championships in 1991, 92, 92, 96, 97, and 98 (two three-peats!) But recently, Jordan hung up his Nikes for the last time and announced his retirement from the game that he had perfected. Now the Bulls are in last place in their division and 2^nd to last in the league (to the 1-19 L.A. Clippers!) Thanks to the retirement of Jordan and Bulls coach Phil Jackson, along with the departure of Dennis Rodman, Scottie Pippen, and Steve Kerr, look for the Bulls to stay in last place for a long, long time! Despite Michael Jordan’s retirement, I still love this game! Do you?

Paul Riley

There is about a month and a half left in the hockey season – then the playoffs start. As of Monday, March 1, the Ottawa Senators and the Dallas Stars were the top two teams in the NHL. Ottawa is fighting the Flyers to hold the #1 spot in the East. Dallas is in control of the West with 85 points. In the East, there is a fight for the final playoff spot. The Boston Bruins are currently holding the spot, ahead of Florida, New York, and Montreal. That should be a great race. In the West, the San Jose Sharks, the Calgary Flames, and the L.A. Kings are battling it out for the last spot. Eight teams from each conference get into the playoffs. It should be exciting to see if the Stars can keep up their winning ways and win it all.

The Boston Bruins, after struggling for about ten games, have come on as of late, and are unbeaten in their last four games. They will have to keep that up if they want to make the playoffs. After getting in the playoffs as the fifth seed in the East last year, expectations were high for the Bruins coming into this season. However, a lot of injuries and lack of offense has brought those expectations down. The Bruins have been off and on all season, and to be a championship team you have to develop consistency. The Bruins have a young team, and should be a real contender in the years to come, but this is the present and they’ve got their eyes set on the playoffs.

Steve Newark

At the beginning of the hockey season, many of us thought that Boston University would again be a powerhouse in the Hockey East. However, this idea was quickly proven incorrect after BU got off to a horrible start and stayed below .500 for a long period of time. The terriers continued to struggle through the mid-winter months and many ruled them out altogether after they took a 5-2 bow to Harvard. Beanpot time came and many were betting on BC, but in the first round BU was able to beat the Eagles in overtime, and went on to take the Beanpot for the fifth straight year. The Terriers used their two Beanpot victories to catapult them into the roughest month of their schedule in which they were set to face off against Maine and UNH, the leaders of the Hockey East. The Terriers took a loss to UNH, but came back the next night and battled them to a tie. Later they upset #4 in the country Maine, and some leaders began to emerge. Carl Corazzini scored a hat trick against the Black Bears and was named the college hockey player of the week. The seniors are also coming up strong and in many ways. Machelle LaRoque has acted as the backbone of the Terriers. Although the Terriers will neither get a bye or home ice advantage in the NCAA tournament, they should be regarded by a threat by any opponent.

Robert Hayes

Like any other newspaper, the writers and editors of The Paper would like to know what the reader thinks. So each new edition’s sports section will contain a poll on various topics. Last edition’s poll was on which wrestling federation you like more, and why? You, the reader, got a choice of either the World Wrestling Federation (owned by Vince McMahon and family) or World Championship Wrestling (owned by Ted Turner). Well, the votes have been tallied and the results are in!

WWF: 13 votes

WCW: 1 vote

It seems that people enjoy watching the WWF more because it has better storylines, in which they let you understand the wrestlers more. People also mentioned younger athletes, more unique matches, and more humor and laughter. Winner via knockout: The World Wrestling Federation!

Question of the Issue: Who will win this year’s NCAA championship? All answers will be tallied up and will appear in the next issue’s sports poll. Write your answer and name on a piece of paper and hand it to me, Rob Hayes, before March 18, 1999.

Blast from the Past: ** Starring Alicia Silverstone, Brendon Fraser, and Christopher Walken.

In threat of nuclear bombs, a 60s family takes refuge in a fallout shelter. Now, in the nineties, the doors of the shelter are opened and a man from the past emerges. The people of the nineties are very surprised with his good manners and ability to charm the girls. This movie is okay, but some of the intended jokes don’t make people laugh. I wouldn’t recommend this movie to any of my friends unless they are easy and fast to laugh. PG-13.

The Academy Awards

March 21 is the date. What would seem to be an organized and delightful evening is really a battleground to see which movies are the best. There are some categories I DO understand, so I’ll try to give some predictions as to who will win.

Best Picture: Saving Private Ryan

Best Actor: Tom Hanks, Saving Private Ryan

Best Actress: Gwyneth Paltrow, Shakespeare in Love

Best Supporting Actor: Tom Sizemore, Saving Private Ryan

Best Supporting Actress: Judi Dench, Shakespeare in Love

There are other award categories, I just don’t know them! You can submit predictions to Andy, Rob, or I. We will post whoever comes the closest to the real thing.

Casey Marx

Well, for those of you who haven't noticed, all of the month of March has been the Cartman chronicle on South Park. Although you may have seen them they are all funny and there are two every night, from Cartman the C.O.P. to Cartman trying to Beef-Up! Although most of you know a lot about South Park, there are still a lot of unnoticed things. Have any of you noticed that in the chicken "Lover" episode Kenny dies during the credits when a tree falls on him? Well, here is a short test of your South Park knowledge!

1.) What do the police call the chicken "lover" instead of "lover"?

2.) Why does Kenny become a zombie in the most recent Halloween episode?

3.) What kills Kenny in the beginning of the most recent Halloween episode?

4.) What trick is played on us (the viewers) in the April 1st 1998 episode?

5.) Why does Satan lose the fight against Jesus on purpose?

6.) When the Aliens give the cows a machine what does the machine do?

7.) What is the name of the monster in the hunting episode?

8.) Who is the monster's left leg in the hunting episode?

9.) In what direction does Kenny's mom's "I'm with stupid" T-shirt point?

10.) What is in Mrs. Crabtree's hair?

11.) What is the name of Cartman's pig?

12.) Who (sometimes) does the "voice" of Cartman's cat?

13.) How many cookies are always on Cartman's Mom/Dad's plate?

14.) How many butts does the mutated monkey have?

15.) What is the name of the thing that is always with Mafesto?

16.) What color is Terrence's shirt?

17.) What color is Philip's shirt?

18.) When Mr. Garrison gets a face lift who does he want to and turn out looking like?

19.) What is the little blond girl's name that is in their class?

20.) How can one tell that Kyle's brother is really Canadian?

Although some of you dislike South Park, it is still a national hit and I don't think that anyone will get all of the answers correct.

Pat Carnell

If you want a game that will make you laugh easily, "You Don’t Know Jack: The Ride" should be your first choice. If you’ve played the other "You Don’t Know Jack" games, you know what to expect. If not, be careful, anything can make you look like a fool in this game (even typing your name in is dangerous)!

The game begins by asking you a question that will determine the theme of the game (like religion, politics and lies, censorship, or hot stuff). After that, you find yourself in an elevator with a woman who ridicules you, asks you for your name (or, if you’re reluctant to do that or if she feels like making fun of you, she’ll make one up) and asks if you’ve played before. She then lets you out on a certain floor that corresponds with the theme, and reminds you constantly that you’re getting closer to the bottom (in other words, the final level). You’ll see a stupid commercial, and then one of four hosts, who go by the names Buzz, Nate, Cookie, and Schmidtty, will introduce you to the theme and let you choose the value of the first question. The question (which will usually be strange but funny) will be asked, four possible answers will be shown and you’ll have ten seconds to answer. If you get it right, you’ll be complimented and you’ll win some money. Get it wrong, and you’ll be ridiculed and get a negative score, plus a skit/joke explaining the right answer.

Of course, multiple choice questions aren’t the only way to earn (or lose) money. Other games include the extremely difficult Gibberish Question, Dis or Dat, Impossible Question, Bingo, Roadkill, and Celebrity Messages. Once 12 questions and games have been asked/played, the final game will appear: the Jack Attack. A word or name will appear, while other words go around it. You must choose the one that has the most in common with the center word. Depending on what you know about the subject, you’ll either have a good chance of getting on the high score board, or getting a negative score. You’ll go through this 58 times. Once you reach the final game, or "the bottom," you’ll get to meet your hosts in person (then again, maybe not; it depends on your score). Then you start all over again, so you’ll have an easier time answering questions. But there are some questions that you could do 50 times and get wrong.

After every game, you get to see the fake commercials, made up by the creators of "You Don’t Know Jack," and they often prove to be funnier than the entire game (the best are My Little Doppelganger, the Bad Name Society, Sam and Ella, and Xenora: Queen of Battle).

In all, this game is laugh-out-loud funny, since it puts pop culture and high culture in hilarious situations. I would give this game four starts, since it’s sure to keep people occupied for hours. I’d also suggest this game to anyone age 13 and above, because of censored words, semi-dirty content, and insults. Besides, anyone under 13 won’t get it, because they "Don’t Know Jack."

Matt Rusteika

Hello. I haven’t done a music article in a while, so I’m going to actually try and make this one good. In the past six months, since the end of the summer, I have been on sort of a buying spree of CDs. I thought I had a lot before, but now it’s just too much. Recently, I counted them and I came up with about 145 albums, 19 singles, and 13 collections. Of all the CDs that I have, a few stand out. I would like to name and rate them.

ALBUMS

3. The Mighty Mighty Bosstones: Let’s Face It

This is an old CD, I must admit. Recorded in 1996 and released in 1997, it has had a lot of time to expose itself to the public and release a few singles. So far, there have been four: "Impression That I Get," "The Rascal King" (about the late mayor of Boston), "Royal Oil," and "Let’s Face It." Despite its age, this is and will remain one of the best CDs I’ve ever purchased. It is one of the only albums that I am able to sit and play the whole CD with.

2. Sugar Ray: 14:59

This album is also an album that I am able to listen to without stopping and changing tracks. It is very new, released maybe a month and a half ago, so it has only one single, "Every Morning." (I must say that the video is unlike any I have ever seen.) The album has a good mix of different kinds of songs, even though I would rather listen to some of them instead of some others.

3. Dave Matthews Band: Before These Crowded Streets

I own almost every Dave Matthews CD, and maybe it’s just because this is the newest one, but I think it is the best one so far. I was leaning towards giving the first place spot to an album they recorded some time before this, Under the Table and Dreaming, but it was too old and there were too many filler songs on it. So far, on this, their newest CD, there have been three singles: number one was "Stay." Next was "Don’t Drink the Water." Most recent was "Crush."

COLLECTIONS

There is only one collection of songs that I would like to mention in this article. It’s called Now (That’s What I Call Music). BUY IT. It has all the hits of Polygram Records artists from Lenny Kravitz to the Spice Girls to Aqua (you know, the ultimate one-hit wonders of the summer of ’98?). For the average listener, this hits the spot. Once again, this is a great CD. Buy it.

SINGLES

All I have to say on this subject is don’t buy singles! They’re a wast of money. If you round it off and average it out, you pay more per song. Most of the time there is two versions of a song on a single: the radio version and the remix. I only need one version of the song and I’m happy. If the record companies had it their way, we’d basically be paying at least $24 for a normal CD (twice the amount!). Just to tell you again, don’t buy singles, they’re a huge wast of money. The only single you should buy is "Pretty Fly for a White Guy," because that has the song, and the song that goes "Why don’t you just get a job…" I forget the name of that one. Most of you know it anyway.

Well, until next time, goodbye!

Eyob Yohannes

Jawbreaker *** Starring Judy Greer, Rose Mcgowan, and Rebecca Gayheart.(R)

On the morning of her seventeenth birthday, Liz is kidnapped by her best friends which are the other three members of the most powerful clique at Reagan High School. All of them wearing masks plan to torture the birthday girl with a pancake breakfast. They tie her up and throw her in the trunk of Courtney's (Rose Mcgowan) car. Courtney gagged Liz up with a jawbreaker and duct tape. When her friends pop open the trunk, they are shocked to find Liz dead.

Panicking, the girls decide to cover it up. They return Liz to her room and Courtney takes charge and decides to make the death look like she had been raped. Marcie, Courtney’s follower, goes along with the idea. Only Julie is hesitant, but she is overruled by Courtney. During their plotting, the nerd of the school Fern Mayo stumbles on to them. When the girls realize this Courtney makes a pact with Fern to keep her mouth shut in exchange for complete popularity.

Julie's desire to come clean grows, and Courtney drops her from the clique. As Prom approaches, a struggle breaks out between Courtney and Fern (which transformed to "Vylette") Courtney exposes Vylette's identity as Fern. Fern then figures out that Julie is her real friend. Then they join to uncover the truth to expose Courtney at the Prom. With its great comedy Jawbreaker is one of the must see movies of the year, and "Best teen movie since Heathers," as Rolling Stones calls it.

Casey Marx

Well, Tidbits is a column that is meant to talk briefly about some unnoticed stuff that some of you may want to know, so please enjoy!

Kevin Dacey

In a school where wrestling reigns the dominant source of conversation, a new show has sparked the interest of the students. What show would that be? What show could possibly be as popular as wrestling? Celebrity Deathmatch! Before I can start writing a column, I have to explain the show.

The show, on MTV, is about three matches long on average, or sometimes two. But anyway, the matches are based on fictitious rivalries, or sometimes the matches are based on titles. For example, there was the match between Ice Cube and Ice T. to become the Baddest Ice in America. And the match is to the death! But don’t get me wrong, it isn’t real celebrities. It is claymation, which makes the matches better, for anything and EVERYTHING can happen! The matches are hysterical and you can NEVER predict what will happen. Here are the cast of every episode characters:

Johnny Gomez: One of two announcers and commentators for the Deathmatch. Johnny keeps it strictly business, although once and a while he has a few snide and snappy comments. But Johnny Gomez is famous for his conclusion line: Good Fight, Good Night!

Nick Diamond: The other announcer and commentator for the Deathmatch. But Nick provides more then commentation, he provides humor. From being snappy and rude to being knocked out by flying Roger Eberts, he always has a snappy comment!

Stacy Cornbred: The in-depth reporter who interviews the celebrities. From post match coverage, to investigating the reasons for the matches, she always gets the job done, especially if there is a raise or two involved.

Mills Lane: The snappy referee for the Deathmatch. Mills always provides for a good match, making sure it is a "good clean fight." He is also known to start the matches with his famous, " Let’s Get It On!" or keeping the match clean with his new line, " I’ll Allow It!" Whatever he is doing, he always on top!

Nicky Jr. Nick Diamond’s adorable little son. Although he is cute, he can really be a pain!

Stone Cold Steve Austin: Everybody knows Austin! But on CDM, he is the resident scientist who solves every scientific problem!

Now, here are some of the greatest matches with the winners:

Evander Holyfield vs. Mike Tyson- Evander Holyfield

Neve Cambell vs. Sarah Michelle Gellar- Both one

Spice Girls vs. Hanson- Neither

Marilyn Manson vs. Charles Manson- Marilyn Manson

Beastie Boys vs. Backstreet Boys- Beastie Boys

Roger Moore vs. Sean Connery- Roger Moore

Loch Ness Monster vs. Bigfoot- Loch Ness Monster (in five seconds!)

Nick Diamond vs. Celine Dion- Nick Diamond

Sigfried & Roy vs. Penn & Teller- Teller & Roy

Al Pacino vs. Robert DeNiro- Robert DeNiro

Wow! That was fast! Once again, the well oiled machine known as Magic R&D strikes, cranking out yet another expansion to Magic: The Gathering. This one, to which I hinted two months ago, is the second expansion in the Urza's Saga block. Urza's Legacy, which hit shelves on the 15th of February, features all the same dynamics and rules and special abilities as Urza's Saga, but just a new chunk of cards. 143 new cards, to be exact. Also, you may be surprised to find a shiny, foil finished, silver card in your 15 card booster pack! These are just fancy, deluxe versions of certain cards in the set. The actual function of the card is the same, they're just more valuable. The expansion's symbol is a hammer. As with the gears of Urza's Saga, I'm assuming these symbols represent the tools used in the craft of artificing, which Urza does. Urza's Legacy also heralds the return of Icy Manipulator. Well, a fixed version of it. Since Ice Age Rotated out of the standard environment,(that's to say, became illegal in tournaments), the infamous card was really missed. Now, a new card, Ring of Gix, has been printed, which does pretty much the same thing as Icy Manipulator. Tournament players everywhere will drool over this card. And needless to say, there are four more pre-constructed decks using Urza's Legacy cards. I do not know what they are yet, but I will let you know when I learn. Now for the fiction of this expansion.

Urza's Legacy continues the story of the Planeswalker Urza from where it left off in the last expansion. Although the storyline is not as narrative as it was in last year's Rath Cycle, you get the basic idea. Urza is a 2000 year old artificer who built a series of artifacts called "The Legacy". These artifacts, when combined, form an extremely powerful weapon. Since the expansion Weatherlight back in mid 1997, these artifacts were being collected by various people. But now, Urza has retrieved them all and is preparing to activate the weapon. Why? Well, do you remember the Phyrexians? Those evil dudes were introduced to us in Alliances, which came out in early 1996. Until now, they've been really kind of mysterious, living in some sort of dark, alternate dimension. But in Urza's Saga, they began an invasion of Dominaria, with motives unknown as of yet. Urza now plans to use the Legacy to stop their attack. That should be interesting.

So, over all, Urza's Legacy has proved to be a really good expansion. There are many very good, unique cards. A lot of fast, efficient creatures. Some of everything. Really. Magic players everywhere will eatup this set. So, now comes the time in the article when I'm supposed to hint to a future expansion and end with "...". Well, not this time. I'm going to leave you hanging. No! I can't help it! My hands are moving over the keys outside of my power! Sixth Edition.......

Derek Wetzel

Next time we have a half-day or a wedding to sing at on Sunday, and you want to eat lunch near the school, where will you go? Here’s a review of some of the places in Harvard Square to chow down. If Italian food is your preference, you have two choices, Café À Ventura in The Garage, or Tommy’s just a block away from school. Café À Ventura is a good choice because it is in The Garage, near some of the best stores in Harvard Square, like Newbury Comics, Tokyo Kid, and Pandemonium. This restaurant is usually less crowded than Tommy’s. However, Tommy’s gives you the easy, one-minute walk from school. Tommy’s also has some very modern and cool arcade games, but it is usually very crowded for this reason. You are a lot more likely to get a seat at Café À Ventura. Most parents I know enjoy Café À Ventura more than they enjoy Tommy’s. Both of these restaurants have a great special: two huge slices of pizza and a drink for a reasonable price. However, if you have a craving for Italian food, I would direct you to Café À Ventura.

If you are a burger lover then Mr. Bartley’s is the place to go. It has the best burgers around. It is at 1246 Mass Ave, not a long walk and a good table is usually available. This restaurant has clever burgers with clever names, such as the Monica Lewinsky burger, which has no buns and is coated with hot sauce! Burgers with fries and a drink cost anywhere between four to seven dollars. This is definitely my favorite restaurant in Harvard Square.

If you are looking for ice cream, try Baskin Robbins 31, which is the closest place to school to get ice cream that isn’t that bad. It is also combined with a Dunkin’ Donuts.

With these restaurants in mind, you should have a great time next time you want a bite to eat.

By the time you read this, there should be three pages of comics attached. Enjoy them!